Retelling Your Story

Instructions from the book: write about a traumatic event.

 

I remember my first so-called date with my first ex. I was running a bit late and I got a call from him asking me where I was. I should have identified that as a red flag and stop things right then and there. I soldiered on and we had a bland date. He asked me whether I was a virgin and I revealed to him that he was going to be the one that kissed me for the first time. I remember feeling terrified with all this new experience of going out. He invited me to his house where he would tell me how beautiful I was and all sorts of dry things. He would suggest going to his place when things got hotter between the two of us even if we were in our second week of dating. From the first dates he would constantly tell me about how he had been cheated on by his ex, how she was talented but stupid, he would show me pictures of the two of them, he would say he called artists only those with formal training, he would smoothly ask me rhetorical questions like "Why do you ask naive questions?", he would tell me to wear skirts and insist on the fact that he preferred the natural color of my hair, not the purple I used to dye it in. I gave him some drawings of mine, he did not mention any opinion on them. He would tell me to get a job and I started to search for one wanting to gain his affection and thinking there was something wrong with me living my life the way I wanted to. He broke up with me arguing that he had to put in too much work. When we met to discuss the relationship he said sorry because I had been one of his victims and told me to wake up. After he left I started crying and telling my so-called friend how much I hated him. 

Cruelty is everywhere. Cruelty in this individual was evident. Somehow something protected me from it. This relationship was a traumatic event because I found out years later that one of my college mates was friends with him. I was just fresh meat to them. Someone who gets prayed upon. He would use all the basics in trying to sleep with me. He took away my joy and left me filled with self-doubt and sadness. Jerks and sexual predators do that to you. Thinking back I congratulate myself for bringing out the sadist in me while we were dating. Fight fire with fire that's what they say. Currently I don't give a damn of what he revealed about me or of what he thinks of me. He's doing well, karma didn't get him. Yet.